My all state audition went horrible. I was on a saxophone that wasn’t mine, alright, no big deal, I was doing it for the experience in pressure situations. Halfway through my scales I panic. I forget how to play. I can’t read music. I told myself that this was the one thing that I couldn’t let happen.
I can’t tell my directors what happened. They’ll be disappointed. One of them is already disappointed in me. I probably shouldn’t ever leave my bed because all I do anymore is panic. I’m literally made of pure panic. I’m never going to get anywhere in life if it’s going to be like this.